Mirror, Mirror
Check out http://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com!
Editor’s Note: Writer and Blogger August McLaughlin is hosting Beauty of a Woman BlogFest 2013. Bloggers are invited to write about anything related to the theme, which is based on Sam Levinson’s poem, The Beauty of a Woman. So, be sure to check out all the other bloggers who will be sure to inspire and entertain with their take on beauty beginning February 22.
I hope you enjoy my thoughts as a daughter and parent in “Mirror, Mirror.”
“No, not that mirror. One that won’t make her stare at every flaw.”
I looked at my mother in awe of her wisdom and insight. She’s come so far in her 72 years of life. She’s overcome her days of yo-yo diets and stinging taunts of being fat. (See my post “I like ‘em healthy“ that details my family’s body image issues.)
The sales person handed her another smaller size mirror with minimal magnifying ability.
“Oh, this one will do nicely. I’ll take it,” she said, returning the mirror.
My daughter had been asking for a vanity the last few years, but I had never wanted to emphasize the need to magnify aesthetics. As a society, we are bombarded with advertising and marketing messages that focus on looks – skinny jeans, airbrushed photos, fake boobs, ultra white teeth…I feared her sitting for hours primping and staring in the mirror. She knew my hesitation, which is why her comment about giving my daughter a mirror that does not accentuate flaws was so appropriate - so sensitive.
My mom began setting up a makeshift vanity for my older daughter. The desktop mirror was the final piece of the set that included make up, nail polish, glittery hairbrush and accessories.
My daughter arriving home from school was thrilled to see her new vanity set up. I listened outside her bedroom door as the two sat together and “chatted girl talk” about makeup and hair, and, of course, my mom being a hairdresser for 40 years gave her beauty tips.
I heard my daughter’s giggles. I heard her joy. I also heard the beauty of their moment as grandmother and granddaughter.
In that moment, I felt a mixture of happiness and guilt…
I felt guilty for being so overprotective of my daughter. If I continue to instill confidence with healthy role modeling and age-appropriate exposure to all the se outside influences, my daughter will continue to grow into a loving and confident young lady.
As a parent, I have to learn to let go a little bit more, and allow her to define beauty as she reflects in the mirror.
Lastly, I need to give my mother credit. She wanted to give my daughter this gift. I am not sure if she realized, though, that she gave my daughter the gift of knowing that beauty lies within. That being a good, loving person on the inside is what matters most – not the reflection we see in the mirror.
Do you have any life lessons about beauty you’d like to share? What is your definition of beauty?
Related Posts
-
Acts of Love
I hid under her long, flowing cotton skirt. I was safe from the outside world. I played with the -
Breaking Through
I stared down at the blank desk. My eyes glazed over in a daze. The teacher’s voice sounded like -
Fiction Friday #6: Danny Boy – Until We Meet Again
Editor’s Note: This is the sixth in a fictional series entitled “Danny Boy.” To catch up with the entire
About Author
clearly kristal
I grew up on the outskirts of a small California town in the Central Coast. In the 1970s, I was raised on a communal farm with two hippie (sometimes hick) parents, three sisters and a brother. By the late 1970s, we relocated to the "city." After watching countless episodes of the popular TV sitcom "Brady Bunch," I struggled throughout the years to assimilate into mainstream society. Eventually, I graduated with a journalism degree from a four-year college (a first in my family). For the last 15 years, I have been a professional communicator and consultant for several Fortune 500 companies (working for “the man” as my parents would say). However, my dream has always been to write – creatively with a passion for telling the story of my own experiences and unique upbringing. I started this blog with the hopes that my clear thoughts and epiphanies could have a positive impact. I also hope to someday publish my memoir. Now living in suburbia with a loving husband and two beautiful children, I hope to offer some perspective into my daily life blended with my past - because moments matter.
Ok I cried…love this entry.
I try so hard not to use the word beautiful without making sure they know it begins from the inside and really praying that it doesn’t cause them any emotional harm later. Very overprotective in this area.
Ahhh, thanks, Stacey! I know it’s a fine line of being protective and being too sheltering.Yes, I agree – the perspective of beauty should come from the inside out!
What a wise woman. Not focusing on physical flaws is a hard thing to teach when society points such flaws out all the time. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Jennifer! It is an uphill battle to guide our children in the opposite direction of all the messages from advertising and marketing companies.
As the mother of two grown daughters (and a young boy), I hope I’ve helped my kids to see their own beauty inside and out at a much earlier age than I recognized mine. I hope my children will allow the world to see their true selves, and thus find their bliss BEFORE they reach their mid-forties. Great post.
Thank you, Kim! Yes – bliss – the true epitome of happiness. That’s what we all want for our kids.
Krystal! How lovely that you allowed your mother to have a special moment with your daughter. I know you weren’t 100% on-board, but you allowed it to happen anyway. Guess what? They will both love you for it! YOUR beauty comes through in this post as much as anyone else’s!
Renee: Thank you!!! I never even considered my own “beauty” coming through when this happened a few weeks ago. What a great perspective. I think as parents we always think of our kids and family first – so I never considered this was a way to blossom for myself.
Thank you for reminding that while it is important to allow our daughters to have the beauty supplies (make-up, mirror, etc.), we still need to instill and focus on the inner beauty. I was never the best or most knowledgeable in make-up application. When my daughters were first allowed to wear make-up (mascara and lipgloss), I took them to a special make-up counter and asked them to teach them to do it right with emphasis on looking natural.
Thank you, Kathryn! I love that you took the time to educate your daughters – especially to emphasize looking natural. I feel like as a society we miss that natural aspect given the focus on superficiality craze!
How sweet. As with everything it’s a balance. Some vanity is fun for girls/women, but self-confidence and natural and inner beauty go way farther in life than external beauty only. Good luck finding that balance. It’s so nice your mom and daughter could have that moment together!
Yes, balance. I know we all aspire for balance; I’m just not sure if that’s obtainable. I think part of “balance” is accepting that there will always be some sense of imbalance. Ying and Yang in perfect harmony is what we all want. Thanks for stopping by, Susanne!
Those magnifying mirrors are the worst thing in the world! If I wanted such a distorted look at myself, I’d get the same thing from a funhouse and could see my whole body in it! Weeeeeee!
I know those dang i-can-see-every-wrinkle mirrors! Not even sure why they were invented.
I love your mother’s insight regarding not over-accentuating flaws with a high-magnification mirror. Such wisdom there, and such love.
I imagine beauty as the glow that comes from within when we are sure of who we are and what we represent. Taking care of ourselves physically is all well and good, but if we don’t fertilize our heart and soul, the physical is rendered worthless.
Beautiful post, and what a lucky daughter to have such a caring mother and grandmother.
Ellen: I love what you wrote about the glow of beauty emanating from the inside when we are confident. Being healthy and happy inside and out…Thank you for your beautiful words.